Challenges...Friend or Foe?

One of my favorite movies is Rocky. I bet when you read the word “Rocky”, the image conjured in your mind was that of Rocky Balboa standing on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum, basking in his triumphant workout. The steps ably serve as a metaphor for Rocky’s climb to the pinnacle of his profession.

When I think of that movie, I'm taken to the end of the film, where Apollo Creed is declared the winner, but he still goes over to Rocky and congratulates him on a great fight. That ending leads to the equally compelling Rocky II, where Balboa defeats Apollo at the end of a very close bout. It’s a thrilling moment because Rocky finally receives the ultimate reward for all his hard work. It took many months and even years of hard work, but it paid off in a thrilling end.

I doubt either movie would be as compelling if Rocky had simply beaten Apollo without having to try. No hard work was necessary and no failures are shown nor experienced.

When you review the memorable moments and achievements in your own life, odds are the most treasured accomplishments are those that required the greatest struggle. You knew there would be many barriers standing in your way, and that the road to success was treacherous, but you persevered. You dealt with various defeats along the way, but those defeats helped you learn and grow. Looking back from your current perspective, the struggle is something you honor and appreciate.

Now, think about your children…it’s tough to watch them struggle, isn’t it? You don’t want them to hurt and it pains you as a parent to witness their failures. You want your child to feel successful, right? But at what point is success sacrificed for growth? I think it’s much easier to consider our own struggles than it is to deal with the struggles of our children. We view our job as parents as being the ones who can remove barriers from our children’s lives. We want to give them every opportunity to succeed, but we sometimes forget that those same barriers in our own life are what made us the resilient problem-solvers we are today. For without problems, we cannot be problem-solvers.

Perhaps Helen Keller said it best:

"The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."

Sometimes we simply need to remember that our children's struggles will pay off down the road. Delayed gratification is an extremely valuable concept to pass on to the next generation. Perhaps your hard work won't pay off today, but it may tomorrow. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and to keep trying.